Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Lead Dust to Light

We have found each other to heal each other, by holding each other, accountable, for who and what we really are.  The lease, the lies, the Health Department Investigation, is simply to invite us to move beyond the constraints of polite conversation into the deep expression of the blockage, that causes us to though these motions again and again.
 It has long seemed that there is a teacher in all experience who positions obstacles in away that challenges awareness to rise beyond the limitations of logic and belief. While "mind" tends to draw logical, linear connections between things, looking constantly for external confirmation, there is an intelligence manifest as intuitive knowing, non-linear, the wisdom of experience, which often resides beyond the grasp of language, and cognizance.

In August as I found out that my kids had lead poisoning from interior and exterior un-contained lead at our apartment in North Minneapolis, I was filled with a mixed understanding.  My logical mind was quick to judge the landlords who illegally stripped lead paint from the exterior in August while our windows were open, despite having their upstairs tenant's son, in the same house, poisoned by lead 9 months prior.  Looking through this lens I would become filled with overwhelming rage and sense of being right.  I would observe as my body tightened and fight or flight hormones rushed through my veins.  Watching these emotions though, part of me remembered with a deep experiential understanding that no, in reality "it is what it is".

The the effect of a dual-awareness of the instant resulted in a sense of bi-location.  On the surface, is the known world, the world that we have agreed to call "reality".  Singing through the molecules, of the material world, though, overlaps an alternate dimension, where everything is symbolic, each molecule a portal into that without beginning or end.  An light/sound frequency I can only describe as "energetic" that dissolves mind and time.  A language of relationships, expressed through archetypes, the feeling of a patient and motherly elder, urging me to heal the cycling of this timeless relationship once and for all.  This instant is a chance to be free from a karmic cycle, which has lasted many many lifetimes.   To resolve the conversation, the belief, in which there is an element called lead, which has the capacity to poison, or that there is an other who through greed and injustice could be at fault, making victims of the innocent.

We have found each other to heal each other, by holding each other, accountable, for who and what we really are.  The lease, the lies, the Health Department Investigation, is simply to invite us to move beyond the constraints of polite conversation into the deep expression of the blockage, that causes us to though these motions again and again.

Lead Dust to Light is music I put together about sitting on the bench at North Commons, listening for the Nada (a cosmic dialtone) while my kids run and play on the play ground.   It sings of the feeling of ancient teachers who have opened my eyes, usually taking the form of neighbors and little kids. Lead is something so physical, an element... something "real".  Lead is a word.  It describes something, I can't see, but whose karmic effect, as patterns, as ripples echoes through the practical details of my daily life.  Lead is Light, concentrated, till it falls to the floor as dust, as alchemist of my own destiny my work here is to remember that we are not separate, nor have we ever been, but both the same song since beyond time forever.  We have found each other to reveal each other, by holding each other accountable for who and what we really are.